Travelling with these girls was definitely the highlight of summer. 🙂 it’s so easy when you have people you don’t have to try with. the friendship and laughter just flows. Doesn’t mean there wasn’t conflict though we did have small fights but I’m glad they got resolved ❤
Gonna carry this feeling of safety and peace in my heart for the rest of the sem. Here’s to a great semester! Hope you’ll have a great one too!
The most hurtful thing you could do was to agree with my own demons.
Was to see the broken things i was saying to myself – things that hurt me to its very 3am core as the solution to my tears
Was to say to me killing all of which i am trying to desperately and brokenly love back as the antidote
you don’t even see that i’m killing me.
And i dont want your empathy
Not when ive to gain it with blunt explanations cheap things i can give to anyone. It sooner kill me than i will.
Ahahaha oh my gosh this was from so long ago!! I was pretty upset over it but in hindsight i was being silly. But sometimes people just need others to see the best in them to recover, to see the hope or to see nothing at all – nothing wrong – nothing that dooms them to their failures. Thats what hope is.
And yet the way you look at me as if you’re talking to me – you’re talking to me – but we’re surrounded by people
Endless people, prettier people, funnier people, better people
And i’m scared of the moment when you’d realise all of that and be disappointed with me, with yourself for caring at all
Why am i always in this situation? Why am I always so stupid?
***** i need to stop this rubbish. Gonna stop giving a shit. I need to live authentically, live without fear without this unnecessary insecurity!! People are only insecure when they want something and are afraid they cant get it. But look!!! What is there to be afraid of?? And does feeling like you cant change the situation???? No!!!! So stop!!!
*** wrote this a while back but things have changed so much but i guess my feelings are still real and slowly fading but still there
Omg ive figured it out – the key to this sadness!! Things dont have to change, i can keep expressing my love and admiration and care for this person and be cared for in return. Friendship is a two way street afterall and just because of this latest discovery, it changes nothing and now im gonna learn more abt genuine caring and learning how to make friends and how to stay true to myself. Gonna learn abt authenticity!!!