Innocent Desires

I try to meet you

Around the shot glass

But still i face a wall – it’s a lake really drowning in the feeling that i know you so well i could love you

It’s the deep end. Lifeguards look the other way, and standing on the opposite of parallel river sides you barely see me

How can i try when I’m barely half of you? Point five of an incomplete?

The waves pound harder it’s not working – lives that are irrelevant, boundaries defining the other

You go out to smoke with that other girl instead. I’m nothing like her she’s looks, lyrics, the sexuality of chaos, mess, art

I’m not art. I’m clumsy lines that don’t quite finish well –  

An awkward hug – pushing me to the ground would have been less mortifying.

Sunlight and moonlight disconnection.

And then the odd moments as you press against me shyly stepping away from your artwork

Balance. See the rice grains? The way time counts hurt away? The way you don’t need me

Somehow the winds changed. 

And i’m confusedly trying to trace this to the first moment you let me hug you as a platonic lover – as a friend. 

– still it might not last, might not mean a thing

Might all end so for now, this is exquisite pain. 

***

Not a romantic conundrum but a person i really admire as a friend and so can’t help but love in the most innocent of ways! 

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