I leave things all to fate i’d stay awake till 4am walking around
Trying to make myself visible – a desperate self bopping on the stormy waves
Hoping that serendipity will arrange for me to bump into someone, anyone
But growing up is realising that even if i did, we’d pass like strangers
Distant cool and that’s because it’s me
And i’m slowly learning why it hurts so much.
Because all i’m unlearning is the lie that i will find peace and love that i can be who i am and still find all those.
now i’ve slowly stopped hoping.
Slowly stopped being able to feel or cry
3 types of liquor runs in my blood