Extinguished flames

I leave things all to fate i’d stay awake till 4am walking around 

Trying to make myself visible – a desperate self bopping on the stormy waves

Hoping that serendipity will arrange for me to bump into someone, anyone

But growing up is realising that even if i did, we’d pass like strangers 

Distant cool and that’s because it’s me

And i’m slowly learning why it hurts so much. 

Because all i’m unlearning is the lie that i will find peace and love that i can be who i am and still find all those.

now i’ve slowly stopped hoping.

Slowly stopped being able to feel or cry 

3 types of liquor runs in my blood

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