a skype convo with 2 beautiful and amazing girls!
[1:58:06 AM] it’s just this recurring feeling of emptiness that I’ve worn like a second skin for quite a long time
[1:58:16 AM] the kind of feeling I use to lose when there was
growin up drama
or random stuff and illusions and like its not a bad thing per se yknow
I just wanna ask her (counsellor) what up and what to do
I think that’s the main reason for my apathy to a lot of things and slowly losing interest in studies and its a bit of existentialism but its not the bad kind more of tryna figure out wher I wanna go!
i guess the scary part of it is just whether or not i can feel for people anymore and hmm yeah i came to the realization tonight
i: im gonna start small first
and try to love my brothers
and care for them and then maybe i’d figure out
[(BUT I MEAN LAZINESS HELLO)
[2:01:06 AM] HAHAHAHAH
with regard to the question of whether or not you love anyone (and i’m speaking from personal experience
everyone loves differently. for some people, love comes easier to them. and i’m rly envious of those people. for others it’s harder, but it also means that when love does arrive it’s that much more precious.
: and also take note that i do think feeling depressed/directionless/helpless/hopeless does have an effect on your ability to love someone.
like, if you’re in a shitty place you’re less likely to have the emotional capacity to love others.
: so it’s not that you can’t love anyway, it’s that you’re not in the place to love people as much as you may want to.
I think we feel an urgency to feel “love” these days though. Like we want that powerful upwelling of emotion lava.
But it’s ok to just feel a slow burn