I happened to be in my ex’s (?hahah what do i call him ) college for an interview! And since i was there i thought i’d just drop him a text and meet him for a while to say hi… it could have been strange and stilted and i was slightly unsure as to what would happen! In my mind i pictured 2 scenarood
a situation of
polite formalities and that warm laughter, some scraps of genuine warmth for another person
But below the comfortable and easy bantering
All that small talk brought to fore was this feeling of disconnect
And struggling to remember what or why we were trying to reach out for.
Nothing. Easy smiles easy byes.
Slightly and quaintly sad in the soft setting afternoon sun
His stony indifference,boredom
Refusal to play polite
What do you want? I’ve got things to do
Hahah but in the end it was none of this and he was just this sleepy child who walked out of class during his break and was being bored to death by his philosophy lecturer.
I did feel a small rush of recognition and yet unfamiliarity when i saw him turning the corner as he walked over to me… i didnt feel this great massive attraction but somehow i do feel warmth and affection and perhaps he does too.. i guess K being K was just his physical self
Hahaha i dont know what to make of it or how he tried to kiss me constantly..but i know he doesnt love love me.. its just luje warm affectoon…. And i guess the both of us are just lukewarm with each other
And lifes strange now 🙂