The blind leading the blind,
but better leading than waiting.
The blind leading the blind,
but better leading than waiting.
May you be happy, May you be well ❤
28 Days of Cheshire [with Haikus!]
I haven’t loved myself
Not one square inch of my skin have i treated with kindness –
Spared it from mind’s eye grafting lines into it
Criss-crossing this way and that till they meet in a pulsing empty chamber
Eating into itself, each pump swallowing lies whole.
Hell’s flames scorch slowly – ice the wounds with disturbed sleep.
The gates to hell they’re folded neatly under my eyelids.
Gently, they shake as they arch their backs curling upwards from the soft pillows
It’s warm like slumber here, the line between the world and mine isn’t the distance of here and there.
The slow breakdown point that laps like breaths.
Moving backwards and then dangerously close again, closing in sometimes and relenting just a little. Good days. Bad days. Count them with falling darkness.
Slipping into the haze. It scares the most before the surrender.
I can still scream just before the nightly death of consciousness but all i’m screaming for is the sleep that won’t visit
The warm gates of hell, taunting.
Flowers of apocalypse,
Grow over everything man has destroyed.
Make a wreath out of this earth, and let the sea be tears that
lap its sides
till all is fire and rust.
What have we done?
Snapped these pics of this water tap near my house protruding oddly out of the field. I have no idea what it’s uses are or when it was installed but standing there, towering over the grass I can’t help but think about how humans have managed to control the very blood of this earth. Its flow, it’s purest from, it’s quantity. Opening one small tap and watching water gush out feels like we have created it in infinity. Yet somewhere else in the world, people perish from droughts and thirst. And someday in the future this water would be all gone.
What have we done? :c
Freedom to be loved
Have pain and hate abnormal
No it’s not a phase.
The pink dot movement in Singapore is going through the usual round of hellfire by objectors. But here’s the thing – you can be conservative without imposing your believes, without being a tyrant. When you see the amount of pain, suicide and darkness has been brought to a fellow human being just because some people think they have the right to rip apart the society and deny a living person their rights to live and be who they are, there’d be no way to justify bigoted behaviour. Even if it goes against your believes, no one is forcing your full acceptance all you have to do is to not externalise your believes as a hateful spiteful person. Isn’t it also bad for your own emotional heath to be so toxic? Also is this hatred just a manifestation of a deeper insecurity or a distraction from unhappiness in your own life? Why don’t we all work on our own selves and lives than trying to dictate the lives of others.
❤ To anyone who has ever been bullied and hurt by hatred, demands to be ‘manly’, homophobia, discrimination and sexism, I send you my love and support! remember the way bullies behave reflects how they are like and their values. The shame is theirs not yours.
The evening sunlight falling warmly
Full deep laughter ringing clear
The person who loves me as we walk linked in the rain, pressing against each other for warmth in varsity hoodies
The first person i trusted in college – the flawed person – music and beer.
Miracle, gem, the kindest person i’ve met.
Also an asshole. Also someone i’m embarrassed to admit these tender feelings for.
Why is loving you so difficult so terrifying yet the only thing i want to do
What have i ever done to temporarily have you?
I try to meet you
Around the shot glass
But still i face a wall – it’s a lake really drowning in the feeling that i know you so well i could love you
It’s the deep end. Lifeguards look the other way, and standing on the opposite of parallel river sides you barely see me
How can i try when I’m barely half of you? Point five of an incomplete?
The waves pound harder it’s not working – lives that are irrelevant, boundaries defining the other
You go out to smoke with that other girl instead. I’m nothing like her she’s looks, lyrics, the sexuality of chaos, mess, art
I’m not art. I’m clumsy lines that don’t quite finish well –
An awkward hug – pushing me to the ground would have been less mortifying.
Sunlight and moonlight disconnection.
And then the odd moments as you press against me shyly stepping away from your artwork
Balance. See the rice grains? The way time counts hurt away? The way you don’t need me
Somehow the winds changed.
And i’m confusedly trying to trace this to the first moment you let me hug you as a platonic lover – as a friend.
– still it might not last, might not mean a thing
Might all end so for now, this is exquisite pain.
Not a romantic conundrum but a person i really admire as a friend and so can’t help but love in the most innocent of ways!
The best kind of love –
Is the kind that leaves you trembling many later ons
Seconds on a crowded street, warmth between a full bodied surprise hug and the words ‘no not allowed to go’
The kind that doesn’t need the spirituality of True Love or Partner
Just love from a fellow other -sudden explosion of acceptance washing over.
And holding my body in that kinesthetic of pulling in and away, melt selves into a singular feeling of security
to hold into a waking night.
Where is your feeling box?
It’s broken. We’re sitting on white tiled in-betweens of cornflakes aisles in the supermarket.
Ground to realisation’s halt – we’re all alone. Is that what you’re scared of? Is that why you’re atrophying inside?
Because that’s not all true. Hear the comfort – rusty static mingle with the intercom, break the assembly line production of reality
Feel the fall over again in your head – the way flesh bounces and bursts with willingness to heal – willingness you didn’t have for yourself and must
Begin to learn.
Earth marked. Release
How do I help you? How can I pull you out of your own mind. How can I let you unsee the frozen hell on everything?
How do I pump full tank litres of gasoline back into it. Roar it back into life, let you feel its flames again let you see the drama of the destruction, the spectacle anything but this quiet crumbling decay.
Its the gradualness, the habituation that is killing you.
Everything is burning for you.
Why are you spending yourself – is it how uncaring the night sky is?
Rebellion. Making your body a symbol. Fight this universe – hurt the part of it you can- you.
Please don’t do that. Please don’t because when specks of light are snuffed, this world is left a darker place.
Your coldness – familiarity
It’s like i’ve known you and loved you lifetimes over but why not this one?
Why is it that under this sky your heart doesn’t do what hearts do
Doesn’t let anyone in.
Maybe its growing up…somehow more light has entered my life and now these thoughts come from a thoughtful and slightly confused place rather than one of pain.. but its the same question how do i help? How?